Kwik-E-Mart

Anyone who has seen a 7-Eleven this month knows that they are pimping the crap out of the Simpsons Movie that’s opening this month. Once FOX found out that 7-Eleven was going to bear the entire financial burden, how could they say no? This, by the way, is one of the most brilliant ad campaigns for a movie I have ever seen and I have no doubt that 7-Eleven will make all it's money back just on the Squishee sales alone. They also decided to turn a dozen of their stores throughout the country into actual Kwik-E-Marts. For some inexplicable reason Portland, Oregon (home of Simpsons creator Matt Groening) was not chosen as a place for one of the converted stores. Seattle, on the other hand, was. Naturally I couldn't pass this up, so Dave and I jumped in my car and headed for the base of the Space Needle, at the intersection of 4th and Denny.

It wasn’t just the outside that was decorated; there were some new things inside too.

Freezer Geezer

Enough Buzz Cola for everyone!

I never realized how tall Homer was

What would the Kwik-E-Mart be without a Squishee machine?

Hanging with the boys

The Portland/Simpsons Nexus - Part 3

With a name like Joseph "Joe" Fitzpatrick Fitzgerald Fitzsimmons Fitzhenry Quimby, Jr. you know there were a lot of influences in the creation of this character. The most obvious Portland connection is that his last name was inspired by our very own NW Quimby Street, home of the Lucky Labrador Beer Hall where David and I stopped off for a beer and a game of Yahtzee during the Great American Beer Tour a few weeks ago.

In my mind there are three possible inspirations for the original naming of the street. The first is Fred Quimby who was a producer and animator for MGM during the first half of the 19th century and is mostly remembered for his work on Tom and Jerry. Since Groening would have grown up watching Tom and Jerry (the violence in Itchy and Scratchy is an obvious parody/homage) and was interested in animation as a profession, Quimby would have been a familiar name. It seems likely that Fred's name was directly applied to Joe Quimbys nephew, Freddy Quimby, in the episode "The Boy Who Knew Too Much". Incidentally, this episode and character is where my intramural broom-ball team in college got its name, "Say Chowda". However, I doubt the Portland street namers were as influenced by Fred as Matt was.

The second candidate is Harriet Quimby. Even though she became the first woman to get a US pilot's certificate in 1911 and was also the first woman to fly across the English Channel, there really isn't any connection with Portland. Besides, street namers in this society tend to overlook the contributions of women. Still, I like to hold out some hope that Portland really is a progressive town.

The last contender is the most likely, Phineas Parkhurst Quimby the 19th century philosopher. Even though he had no connection with Portland, Oregon he did work in Portland, Main at around the same time as Francis William Pettygrove who moved to the west coast and named a small community on the Columbia River after his home town. Pettygrove would doubtless be aware of "Park" Quimby since he was a famous inventor, mental healer and, according to some, the inspiration for "New Thought". I'm not sure, however, how much influence Pettygrove had on street names. It seems more likely that later planers just picked out a famous contemporary of his.

Since we are on the name "Quimby"; it's worth noting that Beverly Cleary used it when she wrote about Ramona Quimby and her adventures growing up in NE Portland.

Now that I have beaten the Quimby/Portland connection to death; there is one more connection that is worth mentioning... the "Diamond" in Diamond Joe Quimby. That moniker was taken from a fella by the name of "Diamond" Jim Purcell, the Portland Chief of Police during much of the 1950s. Diamond Jim and Diamond Joe share many qualities. First, they were/are openly power hungry and corrupt. At the time Jim joined the Portland PD, there was already massive corruption going on in the forms of bribes and payoffs. Since Jim was intelligent, charming and “utterly dishonest” he managed to become chief in an almost record amount of time by being the most corrupt one in the group. He is also quoted as saying he wanted "to make as much money as possible, irregardless of means.” Mayor Quimby used the towns' tax money to go on a three month fact-finding mission only to come back and announce that is wasn't feasible to build a high-speed rail link between Springfield and Aruba.

They both also had/have connections with the mob. Quimby has been seen on several occasions taking bribes from Fat Tony. Purcell was a long time associate of Jim Elkins. Elkins ran the largest of the organized crime syndicates in Portland at the time and was raking in the money with all his slot machines.

On a non-Portland connection note, I was happy to find that the website for his 2000 bid for the presidency is still up and running. "Happy Hour in America" is a platform I can get behind!

The Portland/Simpsons Nexus - Part 2

Anyone who calls themselves a Simpsons fan knows that they live on Evergreen Terrace. The diehard fans know that in the first few seasons the specific address jumped around. The same house has been shown as being 59, 94 and 1094 Evergreen Terrace. In “Kamp Krusty” there was a huge departure and they lived at 430 Spalding Way for some reason. However, since “Marge in Chains” in the 4th season the Simpsons address has been officially designated as 742 Evergreen Terrace. The funny thing is that address was used earlier in the season ("Homer's Triple Bypass") as the home of Snake.

The Portland connection comes from the fact that Matt Groening grew up living on SW Evergreen Terrace in Portland. Naturally, I had to visit this street myself and walk in Matt’s childhood footsteps. My map showed that this street was tucked away in the West Hills, just north of the Zoo. Turned out the roads in this area are extremely hilly, twisty and generally confusing. Even though I had printed out directions and a detailed map of the area, I was lost for a good half hour before turning up a street marked “Dead End” which eventually lead me to my destination. I parked my car at the intersection of Evergreen Lane and Evergreen Terrace and was surprised to find that the street was little more than a gravel road consisting of only six houses.

Even though the gentle spring showers we were experiencing that day was quickly transforming themselves into an all out downpour, I took my time walking up the deserted road carefully examining each house and wondering if this was the one that Matt grew up in. As it turns out, the inspiration for the names of the Simpsons characters were also inspired by the people in that house. Homer was the name of Matt’s dad. His mom was Margaret, and even though the mom in the show is Marjorie they both have the nickname of Marge. Lisa and Maggie were his sisters, although the full name of Lisa Marie Simpson was also inspired by Lisa Marie Presley. Abraham was Matt’s grandfather even though the writers clam they chose the name randomly and were unaware of the connection. The name of Bart is an anagram for “brat” which Matt used to describe himself even if Bart’s personality was based on his older brother Mark.

The “J” that seems to be so popular in characters names (Homer J. Simpson, Bartholomew J. Simpson, Abraham J. Simpson…) is a reference to Bullwinkle J. Moose. So it comes as no surprise that in “D'oh-in in the Wind” we find out that Homer’s middle initial stands for “Jay” since Jay Ward is Bullwinkle’s creator.

I realized it was time to leave when a woman who was working in her garden asked me what I was doing. It wasn’t until that point I realized that a strange, tall male in a black leather coat slowly making his way up this secluded street in the rain, examining the houses and using his phone to photograph each one at a time when everyone else was at work might seem just a little suspicious if not down right creepy. So, I’m probably on some neighborhood watch list now but I got what I was after. Unfortunately, I have yet to find the actual address of Matt’s childhood home. I was also disappointed that all address were in the 3000-s meaning that 742 Evergreen Terrace exists only in that fictional Springfield.

The Portland/Simpsons Nexus - Part 1

"Wet cement! Is there any sweeter sign?"
- Bart Simpson, Lemon of Troy

Apparently Matt Groening didn't think so in 1996 when he drew a picture of Bart into the newly paved sidewalk near the corner of SW 18th and Salmon Street. Having been a life long fan of the Simpsons (quite a feat since I'm twice as old as the show), I figured it was about time I started to explore the connections between The Simpsons and Portland (Simpsons creator Groening's home town). What better place to start than with this cement carving.

It all started back when Groening was attending Abraham Lincoln High School (Lincoln for short) a quarter century earlier. As an interesting aside; the school was known as Portland High School when it started in 1869. This makes it one of the two oldest public high schools west of the Mississippi (San Fran's Lowell High is the other one). The name changed in 1908 and moved to its current location in 1952. Through all that they seem to have kept there mascot since the school paper, "The Cardinal Times", has been in continuous publication since 1897. Back to Matt...

By all accounts he had a very eventful time at the school. He and his friends formed the "Komix Appreciation Club", comics being a huge part of his younger days. They also formed a political sect called "Teens for Decency", they published an underground newspaper called "Bilge Rat" and created a Lincoln High board game. As a member of the Film Group, he and his friends created "Lightning Tour of Lincoln", essentially them just running really fast through the halls. There was also "Drugs: Killers or Dillers?" featuring an insane clown with an eggbeater. This clown can still be seen today in some of the torch wielding mob scenes in The Simpsons. Did I mention he was the student body president?

Probably one of the more creative activities Matt and his friends took place in was the creation of an imaginary group of greaser thugs. Since there were wacky actions occurring all over the school, someone needed to get blamed. After many locker locks were smeared with bananas, this fictitious group became known as the Banana Gang. During his junior year he and his friends got dressed up as greaser thugs at a party and posed as the Banana Gang for a picture that ended up in the 1971 yearbook.

Perhaps it was antics like these that lead him to call himself a "brat", thus leading him to the anagram Bart making the picture outside his alma mater all the more fitting. Speaking of character connections; Mr. Burns' demeanor was apparently based on a teacher he had in high school.

Groening was not the only celebrity to graduate from Lincoln. The Man of a Thousands Voices, Mel Blanc attended Lincoln. He is most famous for doing the voices of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig and Woody Wookpecker (among hundreds of others) but I'll always remember him as Twiki from "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century". Astronaut S. David Griggs, golfer Peter Jacobson, abstract expressionist painter Mark Rothko and the late, great singer-songwriter Elliott Smith are all listed as Lincoln alumni.

It actually took me a little wile to find the drawing since it wasn't exactly on the corner (not to mention there are four corners to choose from). However walking southwest along the schools sports field did lead me too it. I'm not quite sure what the circumstances were that led to him making this picture, but he was apparently in town after the Kings Hill Station was constructed and the new sidewalk was laid. It doesn’t seem to have been condoned by the city since the council had to decide not to cite Groening for vandalism. What ever the reason, I'm just glad he did it.